aw shucks

i called this afternoon to inquire after provolone and it seems that he's already been adopted.  drat!  but also great for him, because the less shelter pups in need of homes out there, the better.  of course, because i'm a bit superstitious and always on the lookout for signs (especially in an endeavor such as picking up and moving my life arbitrarily across country), i was a tad worried that this was a bad omen, but then i realized that i love all dogs and have the general ability to fall in love with most things (people, animals, the stinky coffee shop downstairs with stale pastries) if i talk myself into the idea.  so, it's all good in the hood.  i wonder if little provolone knows there are many blog entries about him!  he's so famous.

i've heard through the grapevine (though it hasn't been confirmed because the posting was just taken down yesterday), that i will get an interview for the assistant commissioner position.  if this is the case, i will do cartwheels.  how fun!  however, without sounding all boo hoo about stuff, i've redefined my version of what "success" in this endeavor will look like.  i used to think that if i went to chicago for a week and came back without a job, i'd be a real loser.  like i'd be embarrassed to admit to all of you fine people that after all the effort, pimping, applications, networking, phone calls, etc i've got nothing.  but, as a true believer in things unfolding as they ought to, i've redefined the notion of success to be more about taking this trip as the opportunity to scout out what feels right intuitively.  to have fun with wonderful new people that i've met and will reunite with.  the laugh a lot and challenge myself via interviews and feeling the rush of uncertainty.  if i come back to boston with no concrete job offer, sure, i'll need to reevaluate some decisions moving forward, but life goes on.  many people would remain complacent where they are, never deigning to wonder about or actualize a new life somewhere else.  have the guts to do that and breathe life into such a thing, with no traditional motivators (significant other, work made me move, etc) in place, i feel already very successful that i'm actually doing what life is meant for (not the whole meaning, but some of it) - to answer curiosity with action, to never stop dreaming about the possibilities.  to have adventures, even if they don't always pan out.  i know i won't stay in boston forever or even much longer, but how that transition comes to be, i can only do so much to persuade and steer.  with a piss poor economy and other factors beyond my control, all i can do is my best.

so, folks, after weeks of obsessing, i'm going to slow it down and let things unfold a bit.  sure, it'd be a mad, wonderful rush if things came to fruition the way i've been hoping, but it'd also be great to have things settle themselves in an unexpected, but satisfying way.  so, i'm throwing my cares to the wind (probably for just a day or two) and letting life take its course.  my purpose on the chicago visit will be to ascertain how the city feels to me and if i can see myself making an enjoyable life there.  my suspicion is that i overwhelmingly can, but overall, i'm going to enjoy and savor this exploration.  and perhaps still get a shelter dog.