i'm a horrible person; this is all my fault.

ladies and gentlemen, it's 11:30pm here in boston and after watching a very touching hallmark hall of fame movie and eating delicious homemade cupboard meal, after taking a nice hot bath and reading in bed for a bit, i finally gave in to wondering what the constant whistling sound i'd been hearing all night was (i thought it was the wind - or my worthless neighbors smoking up with a squeaky special-type hookah).  a peek out my door showed the sound to be coming from the bowels of the basement and getting louder and louder, much more shriek-like than a whistle.  i put on my shoes (close-toed, thank you) and tip toed into the basement, which since i called the landlord re: the rat sighting, is now disgustingly lined with horribly inhumane glue traps.  my heart racing, i am getting nervous as i get nearer to the sound, the noises getting louder as i approach.  i'm totally scared.  from the sounds of it, i thought i was going to (happily) come upon a nest of baby sparrows in the rafters of the building (just chirpin' away, how ya doing?) or perhaps (god forbid) a squirrel or cat stuck to the traps.  nope.  i get closer, i see movement, i'm starting to feel sad - the noises obviously indicate panic and struggle.  i turn the corner and see not one, but two rats, huddle close together, both stuck to (and trying to struggle free from) the same barbaric glue trap.  i didn't even know that rats could make these hysterical hiss/chirp/tweet noises.  and seeing them there on the trap, likely terrified, breathing so fast, i can see their respiration from a yard away.  i am frozen by a tremendous wallop of guilt.  like guilt and sadness has got me all wrapped up like a party frock.  and now these poor little guys are so loud in their suffering that i can hear them through my walls.

oh god.  oh god.  oh god.  i love animals.  truly.  and while i agree that rats are vicious and understand that they're vermin, i feel so bad for these two that i am a teary mess, feeling inhumane and very helpless as to what i can do to ease their pain.  seeing anything suffer is awful.  and at almost midnight, what am i to do?  i thought of trying to oil them free from the traps, but i am too scared to do that, for fear they'd kill me, and think that any attempts would likely be ineffective or cause them greater harm/pain.  i feel like a farmer whose horse has just been made lame, grasping at any ideas that might end the animal's suffering.  i truly feel horrible.  little rats probably just snuck in when the doors were left wide open by stupid dumbass tenant and thought it would be a cool adventure loaded with pizza crumbs (my neighbors) and fun systems of pipes to race through.  they're obviously the same two that i saw a few days back, thus i think that they're obviously buddies.  this humanization is killing me.  truly.  i may as well imagine them in little ball caps and sneakers, running after an ice cream truck or making gourmet meals in paris.  ladies and gentlemen, while i did not lay the traps myself or even request them (i did specifically say to the landlord that i thought they were horrific), i am responsible for the protracted agony and (i'm assuming) death of two small, innocent animals.  rip ratatouille and rizzo.